G C9 G C9

1) Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk. At our Christmas party.

2) Brother Ken brought his kids with him. The three from his first wife, Lynne

3) Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen. I can't remember how I'm kin to them.

G Em C C9

1) We were drinkin' champagne punch--and homemade eggnog.

2) And the two identical twins from his second wife, MaryMel.

3) But when they tried to plug their motorhome in, they blew our Christmas lights.

G C9 G C9

1) Little sister brought her new boyfriend. He was a Mexican.

2) Of course he brought his new wife, Kaye. Who talks all about AA.

3) Cousin David knew just what went wrong. So we all waited out on our front lawn.

G Em C C9 G

1) We didn't know what to think of him, 'til he sang "Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad." [to verse 2]

2) Chain smokin' while the stereo plays "Noel, noel. The first noel." [to Chorus 1]

3) He threw the breaker and the lights came on. And we sang "Silent Night, oh Holy Night." [to Chorus 2]

CHORUS

D C

1) Carve the turkey, turn the ballgame on. Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone.

2) Carve the turkey, turn the ballgame on. Mix Bloody Mary's 'cause we all want one.

D C

1) Send somebody to the QuickPak store. We need some ice and an extension cord.

2) Send somebody to the Stop'NGo. We need some celery and a can of fake snow.

D C

1) A can of bean dip and some DietRite. A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights.

2) A bag of lemons and some diet Sprite. A box of tampons and some Salem Lights.

G Em C D G

1) Hallelujah, everybody say, "Cheese." Merry Christmas from the family.

1) Hallelujah, everybody say, "Cheese." Merry Christmas from the family.