Life isn't quite what I thought I'd be

When I was a kid on VoIP

I thought when I get older

I'd marry her, I told her

Now I'm twenty-six and I work in an office

Nine till five's not the best, I'll be honest

If I could change a single thing

I'd make it me and not him

But he's in your bed, I'm in your Twitch chat

I've got the key and he's just a doormat

And even though he's got social skills

That doesn't mean I can't pay the bills

Anyway, make the most of him

'Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick, oh-oh

Your new boyfriend's an arsehole

(Woo)

And, yeah, I've met Jared (Of course, I've met Jared)

The one who took you away from me

You hit it off instantly

I know, 'cause you won't stop telling me

I've seen his jawline, shoulders, and muscles

Push against his fashion sense

I've thought about what he looks like nude

I'm not gay, though

'Cause she's living the dream (Living the dream, living the dream)

Oh, she's living the dream

From back when we were seventeen

She's living the dream (Living the dream, living the dream)

Oh, she's living the dream

From back when we were seventeen

How on earth could I be saved?

When I'm one click away from insane

I just think that I deserve

A little bit of what I earned

I'm not gonna make another scene

The one I made when I was twenty-three

Means I'm not allowed in Disney World

But he's in your bed, and I'm in your Twitch chat

I've got the key and he's just a doormat

'Cause even though he's got social skills

That doesn't mean I can't pay the bills

Anyway, make the most of him

'Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick, oh-oh

Your new boyfriend's an arsehole

I think about you every day (Every day)

So how on earth can I be saved? (Can I be saved?)

I think about him a lot as well (I think about him)

Maybe if he wasn't fine as hell (He's really fine as hell)

'Cause you're beauty

And you're grace (And you're grace)

Your telephone calls are my favourite place

And I want you to notice me

With no restraining order, please (Jason Derulo)

I want you to care

I want to smell your hair