Chorus

Don't try to tell me the world is safe

and the fear is all in my head.

I'm not scared of spiders or snakes

or a boogeyman under my bed.

Outlawing guns won't make me safe

from knives or arrows or bombs.

But I know that if I can't escape

I'll just feel better with my .38

I was walking down to the neighborhood bar

to have a beer with my chums

When i saw a car that was being jacked

by a young punk holding a gun.

I snuck up behind him, put the barrel to his head

cocked it and whispered 'run'

He dropped his piece and raced away

While the driver said, 'Thank you, son.'

CHORUS

Joe and I went down to the lake

looking to catch some bass.

When a pretty blond went jogging by

and waved with a smile as she passed.

She didn't see the creep trailing behind.

I saw he was holding a knife

Shortly me and my old .38

Saved that pretty lady's life.

CHORUS

Now I'm not big and I'm not strong

and I'm sometimes mistaken for gay.

But I've learned how to get along

and try to stay out of the fray.

Better keep your hands to yourself

and live like today's your last day.

Cause we're locked and loaded

watching close and ready to make you pay.